


Shapeshifters' self defence

by Drosera_Sundews



Series: our Daemons watching over us [2]
Category: His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman, Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Daemons, Blackwatch Jesse McCree, Daemons, Gen, Watchpoint: Gibraltar, Young Fareeha "Pharah" Amari, loads of additional original daemon lore
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-05-15 17:16:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14794647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drosera_Sundews/pseuds/Drosera_Sundews
Summary: It’s been two months since his attempted jailbreak and Jesse McCree is finally getting settled in watchpoint: Gibraltar. Somewhat, at least. However, other things also seem to be getting settled, namely his daemon, Saba. Naturally, this causes some panic, mostly to themselves.CH 2: Mode LockIn which everyone gets out of bed on the wrong side, both literally and figuratively





	1. Shapeshifters' self defence

**Author's Note:**

> In which Fareeha really wants to shoot a gun, Jesse is told the significance of snakes and their daemons get a lesson in self defense. Because having nearly unlimited shapeshifting abilities doesn’t mean you can just slack off.

“I could have taken you hostage, you know. Put a gun against your head. I betcha they’d let me walk right out the door, just like that. Wouldn’t have been hard.”  
  
Fareeha send him a deadpan look from across the table, “you’d have killed a kid?”  
  
“I… Yes?! I was in a gang, you know! Remember what they called me? ‘The Deadlock Sniper’. I didn’t get a reputation like that over nothing.”  
  
Fareeha snorted. “You wouldn’t kill a kid. You’re not the type.”  
  
“Why you…” He sputtered indignantly. Fareeha took no note, too busy shoveling her spaghetti into her mouth. Almost as if she was afraid it would be taken. Jesse might have thought that if he hadn’t known better. However, he did know better. He’d been here for two months now, and so far no one had even tried taking his food.  
  
“I mean, we didn’t have bullets,” Saba spoke softly. She was in mouse form, seated on top of a ketchup bottle, a very brave move, especially for her. “It’s not like we could have really killed anyone.”  
  
“Spoilsport.”  
  
“Not at all. What I’m trying to say is; of course you didn’t kill Fareeha that day, you were technically unarmed. Had we been armed, it might have been different.”  
  
“But you still wouldn’t have actually killed us, right?”  
  
Saba gave a tiny shrug. “Not without a reason I think.”  
  
“You think?”  
  
“I mean, I would really…”  
  
“NOT IF WE KILLED YOU FIRST!” Asimaat shot up from below the table, claws bared and amber eyes locked onto Saba’s tiny form. The mouse let out a shriek as the Bengal cat charged and jumped in a split second, knocking over the ketchup bottle as he landed belly down on the table, prey clasped in his outstretched claws.  
  
“Hey, watch it!” Jesse quickly lifted his half finished plate of pasta out of the daemon’s reach. “I don’t want no hairs in my food!”  
  
“Oh no! I have been caught. This is the end. Oh dear.” Saba dramatically brought up a paw to her forehead, and mock fainted. Fareeha giggled.  
  
Jesse glanced around nervously. The cafeteria was relatively empty, only a few tables occupied. No one seemed to pay them much attention, despite the ruckus, though a few agents were watching their demons from another table, seemingly amused by their antics. Jesse released a breath he didn’t know he was holding, his shoulders sagging slightly.  
  
Asimaat, seemingly done with their little chasing game, turned into a falcon and took off, hovering over the table. Saba righted herself again and scuttled over to Jesse, giving the spilled ketchup a wide berth.  
  
“Mom says you’re not even a real sniper. Because you don’t know how to get away. A real sniper knows how to escape, she said.”  
  
Jesse huffed, “I know plenty ‘bout getting away. Wouldn’t be alive today if I didn’t.”  
  
“It’s been two month since you tried to escape and you literally haven’t even made it out of the watchpoint.”  
  
“Sure, but I ain’t in the holding cell now am I?” He gestured at his plate and Saba, who was nibbling on a single strand of spaghetti. “And why would I leave? They’re feeding me!”  
  
Fareeha rolled her eyes. “You have no standards.”  
  
“And that sure is a good thing, with how skinny you were when we got you.” A familiar voice spoke up from behind them.  
  
A hand was placed on his shoulder. Jesse, despite knowing it was only Gabriel, still startled and tensed. Saba jumping up into the air and flying off as a small brown sparrow.  
  
“Big boss incoming, better clean that up!” Asimaat swooped down, feathers almost streaking through the ketchup stain on the table, before settling on Fareeha’s shoulder.  
  
“Mornin’ Reyes.” Jesse smiled, still somewhat tense. “Was I supposed to be somewhere?”  
  
“Not this time Jesse,” Gabriel took a seat next to him. Maria following behind and jumping onto the bench as well. He was wearing a hoodie again. Seemingly today Morrison hadn’t harassed him on looking professional. “You kids busy with something?”  
  
“Not at all sir, at yer beck and call!”  
  
“No he’s not!” Fareeha yelled, half getting up from the bench. “You said we’d go horseback riding on the cliffs after dinner.”  
  
Jesse shrugged helplessly. Gabriel chuckled.  
  
“That sure is a shame. Well, guess you’ll be missing out on today’s super special training.” He looked from Jesse to Fareeha, “and you as well. Oh well.” He shrugged.  
  
“Wait! Me too?!” Fareeha actually stood up now. The bench wobbling dangerously behind her. “Are you finally gonna train me? Do I get to shoot a gun?!”  
  
“Ah, not so fast,” Maria leaned forwards, looking past Gabriel with a slight grin. “I will be doing the training today. And it’s not for you, but for him.” She trust her snout at Asimaat, “and our dearest Vermin, of course.” She looked around. “...Who is once again hiding from me.”  
  
“Up here ma’am.” Saba said from the rim of Jesse’s hat. Hopping up and down in emphasis.  
  
“WHAT! Asimaat gets training and I don’t?! Not fair.”  
  
“What’s the training anyway.” Jesse asked warily. “It’s not etiquette is it?” He’d been through a whole lot of training sessions already, whenever Gabriel or some other agent had some hours to spare. A few he'd come to appreciate, weapons training, unarmed combat and general cardio, sure, but culture and etiquette? Those were... a work in process.  
  
“No,” Gabriel deadpanned, “No etiquette for today, though we will be getting you more of that. But for today, we were thinking we should teach you two some self defense.”  
  
“Self defense? But our deamons are unsettled.” Fareeha said.  
  
“So? Better start early.”  
  
The two younger daemons send each other a look. Saba shrugged, “might as well.” 

 

The practice range was a work in process, like many areas of the watchpoint. However, Jesse did appreciate that it was outside. Nestled in a cliff and overlooking the ocean. It hadn’t rained much while he’d been here, yet he couldn’t help but wonder what they did with the training bots when the weather turned.  
  
However, Gabriel did not take them to the outer range, but instead led them into the overlooking building, to a smaller, indoor range. He told them to wait outside and disappeared in one of the small offices. Reappearing a minute or so later with what appeared to be a large box with a cloth thrown over it.  
  
“Now small ones, pay attention,” Maria spoke as her human put the box upon a nearby table. “All employed daemons at the overwatch bases receive some form of self defense training depending on their form. This can be either in stealth, avoidance or straight up assault, depending on said daemon’s form. It is obligated, there’s reports and paperwork involved and yes, once you two are settled, you’ll have to do it again. At least, when your people end up being employed.”  
  
Asimaat huffed and ruffled his feathers.  
  
“Now being unsettled, you two are seemingly at an advantage in daemon to daemon combat,” Maria continued, “but while shapeshifting can be incredibly useful, it might also slow you down and disorient you. The time it may take you to shift might just be the few seconds an experienced, settled daemon needs to strike. Then there’s also the matter of which form to take, depending on your situation. Now, to test your response time…”  
  
“CHAAAAARGE!!!!”  
  
Fareeha straight up screamed. Jesse dove aside as the ground shook as a massive, metal clad monstrosity stormed in through the open door, all gleaming metal and fire as it shot at the three daemons seated on the floor.  
  
Saba and Asimaat had shifted into feathers at a moment’s notice, shooting away in blind panic. Asimaat just barely soaring out of the way as the massive creature galloped past, its armored form gliding across the floor and stopping mere centimeters from Maria, who stood her ground right in the creature’s path.  
  
Saba flew by screaming, pretty much crashing into Jesse’s chest and immediately clinging on. Asimaat was hovering near the ceiling, breathing heavy. Jesse looked up, still in mild shock, and stared in awe at the massive white rhino in gleaming silver armor standing in the middle of the training range. Seated atop her, in similar armor, was the massive, blonde German Jesse had briefly seen before. Despite being huge the man was absolutely dwarfed by his daemon, his head almost brushing the ceiling. He was laughing loudly, yelling something at Gabriel. Jesse realized his ears were ringing, second-hand panic from Saba clouding his senses.  
  
Maria sighed deeply, “thank you kindly, Gwendolyn. Please, next time maybe a tad less dramatic.” She stepped backwards and continued. “Now that was a small test to measure your response time. Well done you two, dodging was indeed the way to go here. It’s absolutely not recommended you go nose to nose with Gwendolyn. Ever.”  
  
“No foe, men or daemon, stands in our way!” The German yelled. His rhino chuckled, low and soft. “But rest assured, younglings! You were never in any danger.”  
  
“Reinhardt and Gwendolyn are so cool!” Fareeha stage whispered at Jesse, her previous shock replaced by awe.  
  
“Now, some small remarks.” Maria continued, “Asimaat, you should not fly away from your person when dodging. If an enemy daemon gets between you and Fareeha it will put you both in danger. Now, I know you prefer bird forms, so for you it will not matter, but Fareeha is not going to be able to jump over a rhino in combat. Remember that. Mind your range.”  
  
Asimaat nodded and immediately soared over to perch on Fareeha’s shoulder.  
  
“Saba, you did well considering… Saba?” The Doberman turned and glared over at Jesse, who was still pressed against the wall and realized he was no longer holding his daemon.  
  
“Sabandija, what you do in your spare time is up to you but I will not have you hiding from me during a training session.” She barked. “Come out!”  
  
“Sorry”  
  
Saba, now once again a sparrow, hopped out from behind Jesse’s hat and flew back to the ground sheepishly.  
  
“Now next up we’re going to test the speed and range of your shapeshifting.”

The ‘lesson’ took a full hour. Maria asking the two younger daemons to display each and every shape they knew to take. Challenging them into shapes both smaller and larger than they were used to. And, despite the exhaustion being only second-hand, Jesse all too quickly found himself sitting down in the corner of the room against the wall. Sagged and still to avoid aggravating the phantom-muscle ache as Saba changed forms to the point of exhaustion. Fareeha managed to keep standing for a while longer, chatting animatedly with the German man, but eventually she too joined him on the floor, sweat beading on her forehead.  
  
Saba demonstrated her full range of various desert critters. Meerkat, coyote, lizard, bat, beetle, termite. Maria asked her to grow large and she pulled out the mountain lion and horse forms once more, though she visibly stained to hold them. Asimaat on the other hand seemingly couldn’t go much smaller than a sparrow, but did pull off a downright impressive grizzly bear form, followed up by a moose that towered over even Gwendolyn.  
  
“Size range is often somewhat of an indication of how big a daemon will settle.” Gabriel remarked, leaning against the wall next to them. “It’s likely Asim will end up bigger than Saba.”  
  
“Maybe even bigger than Maria!” Fareeha quipped up from the ground.  
  
Probably not, Jesse thought. He knew you couldn’t be entirely sure how a daemon would settle but, despite being young, Asimaat already showed a clear preference. He knew a disturbingly large amount of bird forms, Jesse learned. And of those birds of prey seemed to be a favorite.  
  
“He wants to settle as something that can fly,” Fareeha told him a while later, watching her daemon do some bizarre birds of paradise to impress Saba. “He says he doesn’t know what yet, but he won’t be anything earth bound. Likes flying too much.”  
  
“That’s, I mean, I guess it’s neat but he still has to stay near you.” Jesse replied, “he’ll never be able to truly soar.”  
  
“I told him that too, but he says he has a ‘feeling’ about it,” Fareeha drawled while making air quotes. “He’s insistent, but I don’t mind. At least I won’t be caught entirely off guard when he settles.”  
  
“Okay okay, I have one more,” Saba looked around, ears pulled back, and shifted into the stubby looking, fluffy cat thing she’d been when they escaped.  
  
Fareeha next to him dissolved in giggles while Jesse ducked away under his hat, red faced. Even Gabriel laughed.  
  
“I still don’t even know what this is,” Saba complained, looking herself up and down.  
  
“A lynx, you look exactly like Gérard’s daemon,” Asimaat said, “you know Gérard, right?”  
  
“Kinda, we’ve only been actively avoiding him for like, three months.”  
  
“Been face to face with him once,” Jesse chuckled, “it didn’t really click.”  
  
“All right, that’s enough for now.” Gabriël spoke up. “You’ve pestered them plenty, Maria. Time to get to the main event.” He stood up and finally got the covered box off the table, setting in on the ground next to Maria. Removing the cloth with a dramatic flourish.  
  
The daemons immediately crowded closer to the box, only to jump back in fright as its inhabitant reared up, startled by the sudden light. Fareeha and Jesse also quickly made their way over to the small terrarium, getting a good view of the red-brown snake inside.  
  
“That’s not a daemon, is it?” Fareeha asked, “That’s a real snake.” She crouched and leaned forwards, much closer than Jesse dared to go.  
  
“This, kids, is a copperhead.” Gabriël said, leaning over and spreading his hands dramatically, as if he were telling a ghost story. “This one is tame, we keep it in the watchpoint, but overwatch soldiers occasionally bring it to high risk areas, to war zones, to teach the children there some self defense. Copperheads are common around here. The venom acts fast, will cause the victim searing pain almost immediately. The victim might go into shock as well. And while they won’t die, they’ll need medical treatment right away. So, if you get attacked, and your daemon turns into one of these and delivers a bite, you’ll be able to get away.”  
  
“Is it your pet, Gabe?” Fareeha squealed.  
  
“No, it isn't. You need a lot of paperwork keeping even non-venomous snakes. You can’t have one of these as an individual. So officially, she belongs to overwatch as a whole.” He winked at her, “her name is Scythe.”  
  
Jesse turned his head, squinting at the snake. “Why not go for a properly venomous one?”  
  
Gabriel send him a calculating glance, eyes narrowing. Jesse froze, involuntarily. Cold dread settled in his chest as it dawned on him that he’d just said something very, very wrong.  
  
“Let me guess, you saw your share of those in deadlock?”  
  
“It’s ah… well, they didn’t show us grunts much.”  
  
“No need to be secretive, we’ve cleared out deadlock’s base, found the cages.” His eyes narrowed, “And listen, you might not have realized this, but what deadlock had in their backrooms, was very, very illegal. Even here, only the medical facilities of overwatch are allowed to have deadly snakes, and only a limited number, for research purposes. Even for the combat sections of overwatch, it’s forbidden. And if we were ever caught teaching child-daemons to shift into deadly snakes, all of the UN would be outraged. We could get dismantled in a week. Same goes for the scorpions you’re probably also familiar with.”  
  
“That’s… wow.”  
  
“I figured you hadn’t realized. We have permission to show this snake to minors in high risk areas, but only if we have permission from the government and even then it’s for self defense purposes only. That goes for you two as well. Do keep it at that.” He glared at Fareeha too, this time. “Only ever if you’re in danger. Got that?”  
  
Fareeha huffed, “sure, birds are much cooler anyway.”  
  
Maria grinned, “good to know. Well, kids, get to it. You have thirty minutes.”  
  
Asimaats shrieked in shock, “thirty minutes!?”  
  
“Better hurry. Clock’s ticking.” 

 

Clouds had gathered above the watchpoint by the time Jesse and Fareeha got out of the training room, both having to carry their over exhausted daemons. Gabriel had left earlier, apparently he still had ‘stupid tasks from Morrison’ to do, but the German man, Reinhardt, had volunteered to supervise them.  
  
Jesse wasn’t sure what to think of him. He was extremely loud, a stark contrast to his calm and soft spoken daemon. Boisterous, energetic and apparently fond of putting as much flair as possible into everything he said. He wasn’t anything like anyone Jesse had ever met, which was jarring, yet he did seem to be straightforward, in a way. He seemed to be genuine in his emotions, his fondness towards Fareeha and his earlier, overly enthusiastic encouragement towards their daemons. He didn’t seem to be someone who hid things. Jesse tried but honestly couldn’t imagine the massive man stabbing anyone in the back.  
  
No, he really didn’t seem to be the one for stealth. At all. Probably wields a bazooka into battle, Jesse thought, or perhaps a rocket launcher.  
  
“… Jesse taught me. He was breaking out by then, so he was technically the enemy. Oh Reinhardt! Did you hear the story of how I stopped him from breaking out?! It was really cool.”  
  
He looked up, hearing his name. Fareeha and Reinhardt were walking in front of him, with the massive rhino trotting along next to them. Asimaar was on her back, too exhausted to keep himself in the air. Saba could relate.  
  
“Is that so?!” the German bellowed, turning back to look at Jesse. “Are you one for mounted combat? We much spar!”  
  
“Eh, not so much mounted combat. I’m more one for mounted fleeing. Hard to shoot a gun from the back of a galloping horse.”  
  
The German bellowed a laugh, “Ah, but where is the glory in fleeing? You should come to the racetrack, young one. We could give you two some proper training!”  
  
“Thank you kindly for the offer, but Saba here doesn’t like being large much. It’s more of an emergency thing.” He lifted his hand to Saba, who was wrapped around his neck, down for the count. He startled slightly for just a second, feeling scales instead of fur or feathers.  
  
“Fair enough! But remember, my offer still stands,” the man actually winked at him, before turning his head forwards once more. Jesse only now noticed the long scar running up the man’s eye socket. One of his eyes was white and clouded, seemingly blind.  
  
Jesse wondered for a moment how this man could be an overwatch agent without depth perception. It must make aiming a real challenge, he imagined.  
  
A mystery for another day. For now he just followed the two at a distance, until he recognized the building he’d been put in. He snuck away silently, leaving Fareeha to gloat over her hero. He and Saba had a lot of recovering to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I normally finish works completely before posting, but since this will be more of a collection of one-shots with a vague overarching plot, I have no clue how long it will be. So, here we go. 
> 
> To be honest, I wasn’t really going to continue this, despite having the whole universe more or less worked out. I usually write original work and figured this would be an outlier. But honestly, ‘unsettled’ has probably become my best received written work so far, and I’ve not only gotten many but also very informative and very sweet comments. So, whelp, guess I’m in it for the long run. Thank you all so much for your support!
> 
> So, on this chapter. I really do love the concept and setting of the his dark materials series. But I do find it a shame they move on to other worlds so quickly in the books, instead of staying a little longer to explore their own. I guess the military will be rather more complex if everyone’s souls sit outside of their bodies and can fight on their own. 
> 
> Also, in the HDM books and movie, they make it seem like the shapeshifting abilities of kid daemons are pretty much unlimited, however, in a fight, the main character’s daemon does get beaten/restrained by settled daemons despite the fact that he could have literally turned into a bear at any point in time. This always seemed very odd to me. Thus, to explain this, I build in some limitations on shapeshifting and other things. There will be more on that later.


	2. Mode Lock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which everyone gets out of bed on the wrong side, both literally and figuratively

“Jesse.”

“Hmn.” 

“Jesse, wake up!” 

“…” 

“Jesse!” 

“hmn… sod off…”

He winced as light flooded his vision and a cold clammy something pressed into his cheek. He grumbled and squirmed, freeing a hand and swatting at the unwelcome wake up call. 

“Jesse, wait… AAAH!” 

Vertigo hit him like a sledgehammer to the stomach and he bolted upwards. Half falling out of bed as his head spun. He turned around rapidly, only relaxing slightly when he turned out to be alone.

Empty room, white walls. Dim morning light was streaming in from behind him, casting shadows on the sparse furniture. His room. His room in watchpoint Gibraltar. He went to sleep here. It’s fine. It’s fine. He winces as a dull pain shoots through his side. “Saba?” 

A quick scan reveals his deamon on the floor next to his bed, where he’d evidently put her himself by swatting her off his face. She’s a small brown toad, and he can hear her moaning softly as she clumsily turns around and gets her legs back under her. His right side throbs slightly, and he realizes it must be coming from her.

He doesn’t apologize. No point in apologizing to yourself after all, especially if he can feel her pain as keenly as his own. Instead he bends down to scoop her up. Laying back down, he puts her on his chest, neck angled uncomfortably so he can see her. 

“I’m fairly sure we ain’t got plans today.” He yawns. “Any reason your waking me up at the crack of dawn? Otherwise I’ll be going back to bed, if you don’t mind.” 

“I ah… not really?” Saba shuffles around uncomfortably. “I just. I woke up early. I guess I did go to sleep very early after, you know, the lesson yesterday. And I just…” 

“C’mon Saba, out with it,” he had no patience for this. It probably wasn’t even eight yet.

“So say, theoretically, if I were to settle.” 

“If? You’re gonna? Right? All daemons do.”

“Yes, yes they… yeah.”

He sighed. Saba could be so anxious sometimes, at completely inopportune moments too. He knew, again, that there was no use blaming her (himself), but he sure did wish he could have spend his first free day in ages free of stress for once. 

Unlikely, as a semi-prisoner semi-recruit for some shady government organization. But still. 

He looked over at Saba, who was looking hilariously serious for a small toad. Her wide mouth all scrunched up. 

“Jesse, if I were to settle right now. What would you want me to be?” 

The question comes completely out of the blue. Jesse’s brain, still groggy, takes a moment to catch up. It’s… not something he ever thought he’d be asked, to be honest. 

Early morning stupidity hasn’t left him yet. “Not that,” he grumbles, gesturing at Saba’s small form. 

Saba winces visibly. Crawling back, almost out of Jesse’s sight. He feels a stab of panic mirrored in his own chest. Saba’s form wavers as she shifts into a sparrow. 

He stares at her for a bit, uncomprehending. She shivers, visibly uncomfortable under his gaze. And shifts again. A scruffy coyote, standing on his chest. The sudden weight making him gasp briefly. 

“What the fuck Saba?” 

“Oh, you’re right, this isn’t good. I could… it’s too big. I wouldn’t be brave enough.” Her form wavers again. Shrinking into a morose looking mongoose. It’s way too many shifts for her, especially this early in the morning. 

“All right, enough of that.” Time to be assertive. He got up, gripping Saba under her forepaws and hauling her up, putting her on his shoulders. “I’m gonna wash my face, drink some water. You’re just gonna sit there, not do anything, not shift. And then, we’re sitting down and explaining to me what’s gotten you so riled up.” 

“Yeah okay,” she said, voice soft and timid. 

Her anxiety was a low, constant thrum during his morning rituals. He couldn’t help sending her a groggy glare through the mirror while he washed his face. She was curled up into herself and refused to meet his gaze. 

He put her on the bed and got dressed. His room was bare, still. A wardrobe, desk and bed. The only addition was a movie poster Fareeha had given him after his first week here. It had a cowboy on it, silhouetted by the setting sun and with six arms, all holding revolvers. He’d been quite flattened when she told him it reminded her of him. He had no idea what the film was called and by this point he was too afraid to ask. 

“So, now what caused this freakout of yours, hmn?” 

Saba shuffled her paws. “Remember how I was a snake yesterday?”

“Course I do.” 

“Well, I fell asleep like that. And this morning I woke up and I went and became something else, but… I had trouble?” 

He frowned, cold dread settling in his stomach. “Trouble?” 

“It was like… my joins were stiff. I shifted but it was too slow. For a moment I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to. And Reyes said to only be that for emergencies, so I was really scared.” 

“No but, like…” his mind was reeling. Scrambling for a solution that would end with him almost ending up with a venomous snake for a daemon. “You and Asimaat really outdid yourself yesterday. Wouldn’t it just be, exhaustion? Like actual sore muscles? Shapeshifting muscles?”

“I don’t think I have those.” Saba remarked in a small voice. 

The stress was killing him. Second hand or not, he could no longer ignore it. He stood up and paced the room, rapidly. Breathing slightly faster than he had to while Saba curled up on the bed, shrunken down into a mouse and hiding half her body under the pillow. He could feel her shame and feel sting keenly in his own chest, even from across the room. 

“So now, you’re asking me? You think you’re about to get settled and your asking me what to be?” 

Saba nodded, shyly.

“That’s… that’s not how it works!” he turned to her, arms spread in incredulousness. “You’re not supposed to… people don’t get to choose?!” and that was true. He remembered from the old stories. From really long ago, when he’d been with his parents. From members of Deadlock. Countless late night campfire stories. The memorable occasions when their daemons found their form. 

“It’s just… no one gets to choose. That’s, that’s the whole point. Otherwise everyone would have lions and wolves, and bears and shit. And they don’t. Because you can’t choose. Your shape is supposed to, like, resemble my inner self? It’s supposed to be based on something, you know. And now you’re just… asking me?”

The little mouse retreated even further under the pillow. 

“Aren’t you supposed to know what shape to be? With your crazy daemon magic? Shouldn’t it just come to you, automatically?” 

He felt a stab through his chest. His breath hitched. Saba had retreated fully under the pillow and Jesse could feel his eyes sting. He realized, promptly, that the panic he was feeling really wasn’t his own, and that it was just flaring up incessantly at his words. 

“I know, I know I knowImsorryimsosorry...”

He breathed in deeply. Steadying his nerves, and by extension hers. He walked to the window, attempting to distract himself. The sunrise over the ocean would have been a beautiful view, hadn’t he been so occupied and distraught. Right now, his brain decided to settle on other things. The windowframe was heavy and sturdy. Light metal or hard light, probably. It could open, he’d been pleased to find out, but only a couple of inches. Not nearly far enough for anyone to escape through. 

Not that the hundred feet drop into the ocean would allow that. Though, that was an escape, in a way. 

The acute panic had lessened, but he could still feel Saba’s misery keenly. He turned around and sat on the bed, gently grappling under the pillow for his daemon. 

He got her out with no resistance. Just a handful of soft fur, curled up to make herself as tiny as possible. He sat down and started petting her, running his fingers through the soft fur on her back. 

It helped, though he couldn’t help but feel silly in the process. This kind of self-soothing wasn’t exactly dignified. Sure, he was still a kid, but even at this age he should be able to just get by without literally having to coax his daemon into calming down. He was all alone though, and he could feel it helping. 

“Hey so, what about this form, huh?” He asked, gently this time. Saba uncurled, looking at him with small, black eyes. “You’re in this form a lot. You like it right? Why not just go with this one?”

Saba sat up, staring at her tiny forepaws in consideration, flexing her tiny fingers. “You know, I’ve thought about it.” She said softly. “I, it’s easy to hide like this. I do like it.” Her paws clenched into fists. “But Jesse. I… a mouse. You’d have a mouse daemon. We’re in a military base where they will maybe hire us or send us to prison forever. Either way we’d have to fight, and there will be nasty people with nasty daemons and I’ll be a mouse, Jesse. I know I usually just hide from everything and that that’s really the only thing I’m good at but, you saw Maria! She’s fierce. And Gwendolyn, she’s a rhino, she can crush people! Even Asimaat will be a bird of prey, which are small but still good for fighting.” 

She looked up at him and despite the fact that he knew none of her forms was capable of crying, he’d swore he saw her eyes shine. 

“I want to be good for something, Jesse. I don’t want to just hide all the time.” 

Jesse nodded. Struck silent. 

They sat still for a while, processing. Jesse set Saba down again, on the bed next to him. Both stared at his outrageous six-armed cowboy poster while their brains went miles a minute. 

“I know it would be bad…” Saba whispered, “but a snake would be really useful. I could hide, but still be good for fighting.” 

Jesse flinched. Years and years of Deadlock flashing in front of his eyes. The fear, the ruthlessness. The filthy survival tactics and backstabbing. 

“No. Saba listen. You’re fine now, right? You can change your shape again. You probably won’t settle today, or even tomorrow. We’re just going to, you know, go around the base. See what the others are. We’ll figure it out, whichever form would be good for a shady undercover thug. It’ll be fine.” 

Saba nodded, weakly. “Yeah, yeah okay.” 

“Reyes keeps telling me to ‘goddamn socialize with people’, better take his advice to heart, eh? He’s the boss, after all.” 

“As long as we don’t have to go near the angry Frenchman.”

“No Gérard and no weird ass maybe-bear. The rest of the watchpoint though. That’s fair game.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, this was weird to write, I must say. It's like, 100% introspection, but done in dialogue?  
> I guess that's what you get for writing in a daemon AU. 
> 
> Anyway, this was a short chapter but it's important so I'm glad to get it out of the way. This was kind of the catalyst, and now the real story can begin!

**Author's Note:**

> I normally finish works completely before posting, but since this will be more of a collection of one-shots with a vague overarching plot, I have no clue how long it will be. So, here we go. 
> 
> To be honest, I wasn’t really going to continue this, despite having the whole universe more or less worked out. I usually write original work and figured this would be an outlier. But honestly, ‘unsettled’ has probably become my best received written work so far, and I’ve not only gotten many but also very informative and very sweet comments. So, whelp, guess I’m in it for the long run. Thank you all so much for your support!
> 
> So, on this chapter. I really do love the concept and setting of the his dark materials series. But I do find it a shame they move on to other worlds so quickly in the books, instead of staying a little longer to explore their own. I guess the military will be rather more complex if everyone’s souls sit outside of their bodies and can fight on their own. 
> 
> Also, in the HDM books and movie, they make it seem like the shapeshifting abilities of kid daemons are pretty much unlimited, however, in a fight, the main character’s daemon does get beaten/restrained by settled daemons despite the fact that he could have literally turned into a bear at any point in time. This always seemed very odd to me. Thus, to explain this, I build in some limitations on shapeshifting and other things. There will be more on that later.


End file.
